Wednesday, 21 September 2011

I'm feeling very very emotional today.  My baby girl is going to be 6 tomorrow.  Where has the time gone?  It feels like only yesterday that I was anxiously waiting to go in for my c-section.  Yep, Faye was an awkward baby and it was a planned section, so this time 6 years ago I was double checking my bag to ensure I had everything I needed and feeling slightly nervous about what lay ahead.

I don't think I slept a wink that night.  Throughout my pregnancy there had been concerns over how my baby was developing. I was back and forwards to the hospital every other day for 4 months.  Check ups, scans, heart moniers, blood tests.  I think I knew every consultant in the department by the time I was finished.  At 29 weeks they were all set to deliver her and I was given steroid injections to help develop her lungs.  But then everything changed.  She stayed where she was and arrived only a week early.  She was classed as a small baby and I had no assurances that everything would be ok.  How small she was they really had no idea or what complications could arise.  I had visions of this tiny tiny baby being taken straight to special care.

Hearing that tiny cry was the best moment ever.  Weighing in at just 5lb 14 oz she was tiny but perfect.  With 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes I had the baby girl I had dreamed of.  I was old fashioned in that I didn't want to know the sex of my baby I wanted it to be a surprise, but secretly I was desperately hoping for a girl. 

The first night with her I sat up all night long just holding her in my arms and looking at her.  I needed to memorise every little inch of her.  I needed to feel her, to touch her, to kiss her.  I couldn't bear to be parted for a second.  The feeling of love was over-whelming and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of that time.  It was me and my girl against the world.

She is no longer my baby.  She is a little girl that is growing up fast. She's cheeky, mischievous, very stroppy and occasionally naughty and I wouldn't change her for the world. She is my princess and I love her to pieces. 

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