Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Not tonight love!

A woman at work has pulled her back and been off sick recently, when asked how she had done it she replied "Humping furniture with my hubby.  Everyone fell about laughing and the conversation soon turned to humping, or rather lack of it once you are married.  "When you've been married as long as I have you don't do things like that anymore" she laughed.

Of course the conversation moved onto the things you do to avoid sex.  Speaking from personal experience, as a mother of two young children, the last thing on my mind was having sex. Being at the beck of call of two screaming kids all day.  I longed for the evening to get them to bed so I could put my feet up with a coffee and watch the TV in peace.  I hadn't even been married long.  A mere 2 years, looking back there really is no wonder that I am now getting divorced.

The biggest nightmare had to be a Saturday night.  Just because it was a weekend it didn't make me feel horny.  It just filled me with dread wondering what excuse I could use this weekend.  There are only so many times that you can have a headache, or stomach ache, or just generally not feel well.  Of course there was always the drink a bottle of wine far to quickly and get far to drunk to be able to stand let alone anything else option.  That wasn't so good at 6am on a Sunday morning when the kids woke you up bouncing on the bed.

My favourite has to be the I'm going to bed early to read my book option.  Knowing I would have about 20 minutes before I was followed up. I would feign sleep as soon I heard the squeak of the stairs, the book would be dropped and I would snuggle under the covers with eyes squeezed shut.  The door would open, I'd give a little snore and the door would close, listen for the squeak of the stairs and mission accomplished.  I knew then I had a good few hours of peace to read my book whilst he sulked downstairs.

I became a master of avoidance and would go out of my way to know all the signs and make my hasty escape.  There was no kissing, no touching, no contact of any sort.  At this point my sex life was over.  I'd been there, done that and worn the t-shirt as the saying goes.

Now I'm in my 30's I have a new man in my life and my feelings on that score have definitely changed...

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