Monday, 5 December 2011

Anyone want to fight?

I am so angry at the minute.  I have never felt anger like it.  It is like a volcano in my stomach, I can feel the heat bubbling away and any time now, just one more little thing I am gonna explode, probably on an epic scale.  The type of which I have never done before.  i just can't get rid of this awful feeling.  I really want to scream, shout and ...

I'm angry at processes that have let things escalate to the extent that they have.  Some things should never be left without full investigation and yet here we are having to go through hell and back, when there was no need for it to go this far.

I'm angry at people, who don't listen.  People that are paid to listen and have a job to do that they have failed in.  People crawling out of the woodwork doing things they have been asked not to do.  Taking it upon themselves to get involved and stick their noses in where they are not wanted. I have let that one go today, for now.  But I certainly won't next time around.

I'm angry at solicitors and my ex.  Who after 18 months of being separated had finally decided to get a solicitor and is now demanding more access to the children.  Children that he walked out on.  Children that he so far has picked and chosen when he sees them, when he has no better plans  He has now decided that they need stability and routine. He is being portrayed as father of the year Yeah, well dream on.  I provide all the stability and routine my children will ever need.  I have all the evidence I need to fight to the death if that what it takes.  While I agree that a child needs it's father when your six year old can't sleep because she is worried that she will have to stay with daddy it says it all.  Well over my dead body...

I'm not usually an angry person, that is what is making this worse.  I take what life has to throw at me and I take it on the chin, dust myself down and get on with it.  I have been knocked for six today. It has come from all angles.  The start to my week has been fairly crap to say the least but tomorrow is another day.

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