Wednesday, 1 May 2013


Oh my god what a night I have had tonight. I've been up to my knees in water.  Ok, slight exageration there but certainly more than enough water was covering my kitchen floor.  I'll start at the beginning of my tale.

For the last couple of days I have noticed a rather unpleasant stink upon opening my washing machine door.  At first I put it down to old age.  Bless her, she is getting on for 13 years old and has served me well.  She's a bog standard, no frills, bottom of the range washing machine.  There's a huge dial in the middle that you cluck round to choose your wash.  The options are limited to say the least but there's enough for my needs.  Warm wash. Hot wash. Economy wash. What more do you need? We were on a tight budget at the time of purchase and she was all we could afford. She's never let me down and continues to go like a rocket.

Earlier on in the evening I had a light bulb moment. Ping! Of course, I bet the filters blocked, I cleverly thouught to myself.  So got down on my hands and knees, prised open the little door, turned the dial and the most horrendous pong filled my kitchen.
 "Urrrghhhhh, mum whats the smell?" shouted the kids.
 "Have you pumped Faye? It stinks" shouted Charlie.

Well I had found the source of the smell and a big black button appeared to be the main culprit.  So I scrubbed out the remaining black gunge and proceeded to put everything back together.  In went the filter, then the big black rubber washer, followed by the two little white plastic discs, screw it all in place and hey presto, job done.  I'll just put a wash on and check everythings OK, I thought to myself.

Ten minutes later a little voice said, "Mummy, there is water dripping on the kitchen floor"
I dashed through into the kitchen and that was certainly no drip.  Water was gushing out of the bottom of the washer.  Oh my bloody god! I grabbed tea towels and tried mopping up the water whilst plugging the filter and trying to tighten everything to stop the gush but it just contuined to flow merrrily out onto the floor. I watched in vain as water started to seep under the kitchen cupboards and invade every corner of the room.  Finally the gush began to slow and became a trickle before finally a drip, drip, drip.
"ohh mummy," came the kids voices as they peeped gingerly into the kitchen.
"Don't come in" I shouted.
"Whats happened? Can we see?" asked Charlie
"Just keep put of the way" I shouted.  The last thing I needed right now was two kids paddling in the soapy water.  I was wet enough for the 3 of us.

I Grabbed the mop and bucket and more towels and proceeded to try to soak up all the water.  Right, try again.  Filter in, white plastic discs, big rubber washer, screw into place,washer on.  Checked for water.  All looks good.  Job done.
"Oh s**t, s**t, beep, beep beep" I shouted, as water started to once again gush out of the bottom of my machine.  More towels grabbed.  More water sloshing around onto the floor and seeping under the cupboards.  "Arrrggghhhh! Give me strenth" I shouted

Finally half an hour later.  Filter in, white disc, big rubber washer, white disc, screw into place and I waited with baited breath.  Not a drop or a drip escaped.  Phew.  I then had the task of removing all the plinths from the bottom of the cupboards and trying to soak up all the water.  At last we appear to be all dry.

The only good thing is that I tried my machine out tonight because if I had waited until the morning to put on a wash I would have been looking after my 11 month nephew.  He would have had a field day in all that water and just the thought fills me with dread.

So, they say bad things happen in three's and to my thinking that's my third this month so I must be in for some good luck.  I'd better make sure I buy a lottery ticket this week because Saturday might just be my lucky night.

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