Tuesday, 10 December 2013

I just couldn't write it!

The story of my life, if I actually sat and wrote it you'd probably think I had the strangest imagination, nothing like that can possibly happen in real life, can it? Well, in my life, it most certainly can.

After my rather stressful and eventful weeks back in November things have quietened down nicely and it's been back to normality, as normal as my life is.  No cleaning up of leaking water, the heating is working nicely and everything was hunky dory.  Until last night, that is.

I'd just crawled into my bed, got all nice and comfy and was just having a little read before drifting off to sleep when the sound of pitter, patter, pitter, patter, came from my bedroom ceiling.  I shot up, ears pricked, scratch, scratch, scratchity, scratch, thud, thud, thud, thud.  OH MY GOD!!!!  I occasionally have the odd bird pay a visit to my loft and that's generally not a problem but that was no bird. 

I've been through this before ten years ago when I first moved into my house and there is no mistaking the fact that there is yet another rat invaded my house.  It was having some kind of party in my loft and by the noise it was making it had borrowed a pair of my 6 inch heels.  Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit.  It can't be, I thought.  How the hell would a rat get up there?  The first rat I had, we discovered had made it's way in through a rather large hole under the kitchen cupboards left kindly by the previous owner.  That was blocked up years ago and to this day remains nice and secure.

I grabbed my phone and goggled, 'Rats in lofts.' To my horror I discovered that, yes, rats can get into lofts by climbing walls and drain pipes.  What the hell? My heart sank.  Here we go again.  It kept me awake almost all night.  I couldn't help but lay awake listening.  It would all go quiet and I'd just be drifting off when pitter, patter, pitter, patter, it would be off again.  Arrrggghhh! It gives me the creeps.

Well, Roland you are not welcome. I've had enough RATS walk in and out of this house to last me a lifetime. I did not invite you to take up residence in my loft and it's time to say goodbye.  I had the pest control guys out this morning who have left a capacious amount of rat poison about plus a few bait boxes.  Then tonight I have been and purchased a repellent alarm which should hopefully make him realise that he is not welcome and neither is any of his family.  I wish there was someone like that to take care of the men in my life that have turned out to be rats.

The next problem is the fact that the alarm needs a power source and I don't have electricity in my loft.  So, it's been a bit of a Blue Peter job to temporarily get power up there.  There is currently an extension reel up in the loft with the wire running down the wall into the plug in my hallway.  That unfortunately left a tiny crevice where my loft hatch won't close.  Hmmm, I will never sleep with the thought that just maybe something could get out of the tiny gap, not likely but with my luck quite probable.  Think, think, think.  Ah ha, ripped up an empty cereal box and folded it to fill the crack and then covered in 5 inches of brown tape. Get out of there you horrible creature.

It's looking like the doorway into my loft is via next doors ivy that has grown all the way nicely up the side of the house.  Why, Mr rat did you not go into their house? It's their Ivy.  I've had a little word tonight and he's agreed that he will try and chop it down at weekend.  Well, he said he would kill it off by chopping the bottom of it.  He's as much use as a chocolate fireguard.  I had to explain that just chopping the bottom is not going to help as the thing will still be able to use it as a ladder, dead or not.  What you need to do, I explained, is get up a ladder and chop some of the top off so that they can't climb all the way up.  Oh yeah, he replied.  Tell you what I'll get some bloody ladders and do the job myself.  Be quick to chop it down if it was invading their house.

I feel a bit like a zombie right now and wait to climb into bed.  Unfortunately, I'm not hopeful of a good nights sleep.  The guys that came this morning laughed when I said, "I might get a good nights sleep tonight."
"Oh no, they said with all the activity and the traps that will probably set them off and they'll be fairly active for a few days until things take effect.  I can't wait for that.  It's going to be another long night.  The sofa is sounding a good option at the minute.

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