Sunday, 11 March 2012

Would you lie to your Kids?

The ex and I have been dealing with issues regarding the kids sleeping at his house.  To cut a long story short its been tried before and didn't work.  Faye is a home- bird and a mummies girl.She isn't  keen on sleeping out, anywhere! 

After discussions with her, she had decided that maybe she may like to give it another go.  Now the  agreed time was Friday night, just gone.  The ex suggested, why don't we not tell her she's sleeping out? I'll pick her up from her dance class and just keep her for the night. Or, we could just tell her that this is how it is going to be, end of. You have gotta be joking! I shouted not quite so politely.

That would make me a liar.  The one thing I have always always told my children is that I would be 100% honest with them and never make them do anything that they didn't want to do.  I have never lied to my kids.  Throughout the whole separation and ongoing divorce we have had open discussions and any questions have been answered totally honestly.  Obviously she has received a version suitable for a 6 year old.

I'm proud of the fact that throughout the whole mess, my kids have stayed stable, well-balance and happy.  They have adapted to the changes, they continue to do brilliantly at school and nothing and I mean nothing is going to come in and change that.

It is always me that picks Faye up from dance class so can you imagine what would go through her mind if out of the blue her daddy turned up, took her to his house and told her in no uncertain terms that she was sleeping.  It could  cause no end of damage.  She is a very sensitive, yet very mature little girl and it doesn't take much, for her to be deeply upset.  What would she think of me? I would have allowed that to happen to her.

My view is that children need to know what is happening and why.  She didn't choose to be in this situation and much as he despises me for my tough line when it comes to the children what I do is for their sakes. 

Have you ever lied to your children?

1 comment:

  1. I agree that it is no good thing to lie to your children.
    My daughters great-grandfather passed away a few months ago and she wanted to know why we weren't going to see him anymore. It would have been easy to say that he had moved or we couldn't make it but it was definitely better to explain. It was incredibly difficult and emotional but I'm positive that honesty was the best way forward.
    Children have far better memories than they get credit for.