Thursday, 12 April 2012

Errant Fathers

I read a letter in my local newspaper the other day and the subject really hit a chord.  A young single mum of three, has been found guilty of neglecting her children,  She left them home alone while she went for a night out! Now, I do not agree with that at all. 

The writer of the letter made a good point stating that society today allows the father to get away with shirking their responsibilities and there is no shame on them for just walking away.  This is totally true.  My husband walked and that was that  I had no say in the matter.  He had made his decision.  He was free to immediately start a new relationship, moved in with her 3 months later and now dropped the bombshell that she is expecting his baby. 

Another mouth to feed!  What happens when he gets bored again or things start to get a tough.  Will he walk out again? Leaving another mother to bring up their child/ children alone.  What deterrent is there to stop this behaviour?  Nothing!  He flaunts his relationship like he's doing nothing wrong. Yet, legally he is still married to me.

Yes, he has regular contact with my children and he pays regular maintenance.  But he is not a proper dad.  He only has the children at his stated times.  Any extra hours he has them for are, and I quote "favours".  When the children are ill.  Does he take time off work to care for them? Not a chance.  When I have plans, well that is my problem.  He fails to see how any actions he takes effects my children.  His attitude is that, they are children and should just accept what they are told.  Take for instance, the fact that Charlie has now lost his bedroom at daddies house. His room will be for the new baby.  Charlie is not very happy about having to sleep in what he sees as Faye's bedroom, but Charlie has just been told that it is tough.

It is going to be an interesting and I can see difficult few months ahead...  I'm bracing myself for an inevitable rocky ride.

Getting back to the single mum above.  I'm lucky that I have a good support network.  People that I can call at the drop of a hat and ask for help. I know that there is always someone there.  Even if it's just on the end of the phone to have a good old rant and rave.  What support did the young girl have, I wonder?

It's tough being on your own.  The responsibilities on your shoulders 24 / 7 and sometimes you don't want to be mum.  Just for a few hours you want to just be yourself.  You want to be able to let your hair down and just be free to have a good time and forget all the stresses and strains. There are days when the children play you up and you just feel absolutely at the end of your tether.  Somedays I have thought I could walk out the door and disappear.  Whilst I don't condone what she did, I do understand how you could be tempted to do it.

2 comments:

  1. I have been following your blog for a while and I must say I think you're amazing.
    Juggling two children, work, writing, and all the rubbish you get from elsewhere. Where do you get the energy?
    I'm so glad that you have a support network, some people underestimate just how valuable they are.

    Good job on the blog, and with everything else.

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    Replies
    1. aw thanks Heather,

      I don't know where I get the energy from myself sometimes! It's a good job I don't need much sleep haha.

      My family are amazing and I couldn't have got through my many darker days without them.

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