Faye doesn't talk much about mine and he dad's seperaration. She never has. I have learnt the best way to deal with her is to leave her to deal with things at her own pace. Questioning and trying to probe answers out of her gets us nowhere. She just clams up. Faye deals with things in her own way and when she is ready she lets us know.
Yesterday, I was sat chatting at my mum's and Faye is happily playing on the floor. All of a sudden she says "do you know something mummy? At daddies, it's just rules, rules, rules."
"oh yeah" I said. She stood up and placed one hand on her hip.
"Rule number 1," she informed me " no being noisy. Rule number 2, no running in the house." sighing, she shakes her head. "Rule number 3, no jumping."
"right" I said.
"there's more mummy" she said sternly. That was me told!
"rule number 4, no eating in the living room. We have to have breakfast, dinner and tea at the table."
"right" By this point I am starting to think is this for real. OK they are ideal rules but they are kids. I have boudaries in my house, and they know what they can and can't do and when they have to far.
Kids need to be kids. When they have been at school all day and made to sit and conform they need to come home and let off steam, Yes, I shout and tell them off when they are running around at 60 miles at hour and bouncing off the walls. When the noise level is ear splitting and all I want is a little bit of peace and quiet. But they are Kids. Good Kids at that, just doing what every kid does.
Is there any wonder that they really don't like spending time with him. It's so hard to hear them say things like that. It rips me up inside and I feel so guilty because every other weekend I pack their bags and send them on their way. Yet, they say most of the time that they want to go. I want them to go because I want them to a have a relationship with him. Sometimes I feel as though I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I can't do right for doing wrong.